The Secret Language of Feelings
The Secret Language of Feelings

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I’m Cal Banyan and I want to teach you about The Secret Language of Feelings, a rational approach to emotional mastery!


Cal Banyan
Cal Banyan, MA, BCH
Feel better now.
Understand the meaning of your emotions.
Understand others much better.
Overcome bad habits and addictions.
Stop overreacting and being TOO emotional.
Be a more effective helping professional, parent, spouse, manager, or friend.

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Losing Weight without Feeling Deprived – Episode 15

Yes, you can lose weight without ever feeling deprived!  Here is how you can keep your New Year’s Resolution to lose weight, or really keep that promise to yourself to lose weight any time of the year. 

It doesn’t matter when you decide to lose weight, or make any really healthy change in your life, if you don’t know how you FEEL about things, you are going to fail in the long run.

As a hypnosis professional, I have helped many, many people lose weight, and a real significant part of that process has been teaching them all about The Secret Language of Feelings.  Along with that we use hypnosis to neutralize useless emotions from the past, such as anger over old issues which you can no longer do anything about.  So as usual, if some of the emotions that I talk about in this episode are about the past and you have not been able to satisfy them effectively using 1-2-3, then you should either contact a 5-PATH® Certified Hypnotist near you, or get our 7th Path Self-Hypnosis® program on CD. 

As you begin to utilize the information in this episode you will want to keep these points in mind:

  • Food is a major distractor used to take your mind off uncomfortable feelings.

  • There is nothing you can eat that can satisfy the cause of an emotion!

  • Check to see if you are hungry. If physically hungry, eat.

  • If not physically hungry, you are having an emotion, do 1-2-3.

  • Bored? Do something fun, interesting or have a growth experience.

  • Tired? Rest or have a nap.

  • Angry? Make fair or forgive.

  • When you cannot respond in a satisfying way, use distraction as Plan B.

  • Utilize the additional weight loss tips from the episode.

Does this work? You bet! I’ve personally lost over 65 pounds using this and 7th Path Self-Hypnosis® together and many other people have also.

Taking a Few Weeks Off – Episode 00

Hello Everyone,

We just wanted to give you an update and let you know that because of the Holidays we will be taking a few weeks off. We are currently in Singapore teaching our Advanced Hypnosis Certification in 5-PATH® and 7th Path Self-Hypnosis®.

Make sure to check back after the new year for more exciting new podcasts here at The Secret Language of Feelings website!

Happy Holidays!

Dealing with the Holidays and Other Get-Togethers – Episode 14

Dealing with Holiday StressHere is the topic of today, How to Deal with the Holidays and Other “Get-Togethers”.

Can you say “stress”!?  For many people the holiday season and other social gatherings are very stressful.  In this Secret Language of Feelings program I will talk about where some of that stress comes from and how you can respond to it without going nuts (and distracting).

Where does holiday stress come from?  The demands of this time of year are many.  There are gift buying and money issues, as well as travel and family dynamics as well, just to name of few.

Really there are three contributing factors:

  • The past – resonating and over responding and avoidance.

  • The present – real anger, fear, frustration and depression.

  • The future – paying bills and going back to “real life”

Dealing with it all without distracting involves knowing and using 1-2-3.  If you don’t do that, then you greatly increase the chance of distracting, and that means too much holiday drinking and eating (or worse)!

  1. Name the feeing

  2. Determine the cause of the feeling.

  3. Plan A – Engage in a satisfying response

    • Reality Check – This is big!

    • If the feelings are based in reality respond to it in a satisfying way. This leads to happiness!

  4. Plan B – Distract

    • Don’t do anything that illegal, immoral or fattening

Remember hypnosis can help, especially when you are working with a 5-PATH® trained hypnotist or hypnotherapist. 7th Path Self-Hypnosis® is a great alternative when you cannot see a 5-PATH® hypnosis professional.

Now get out there and enjoy yourself!  Ho, ho, ho! ☺

How to Be Happy! – Episode 13

How To Be HappyEveryone wants to be happy, but most people don’t know how to attain a state of happiness in a reliable way.  Certainly, happiness is not just attained by avoiding pain, but by doing something much more than that.  Everyone knows, happiness does not come from addiction and mindlessly indulging in bad habits such as smoking too much, drinking too much, and so on.

How would your life change if you had a reliable system of attaining happiness?  How would you like to have a system for making yourself and the people you care about happy, and you could do that in reliable and predictable ways?  Everyone would love to have that knowledge!  That is what this program is all about.  We have a happiness system for you, and you guessed it, it is as easy as 1 – 2 – 3.

So, why do people have such a difficult time finding happiness?  Well, happiness isn’t something that is taught in schools (you were supposed to pay attention and focus on your work), it isn’t taught in family circles (that is where we learned to distract ourselves from our feelings), and unfortunately, if we learn anything at all about where to find happiness it comes from the media.  For the most part, the media attempts to sell us happiness! Through the use of commercials and other types of influence, they try to teach us that happiness comes from buying what they are selling. We are taught that if we have (the car, the clothing, the hair style, and so on), whatever products that they want to sell us, then we will be happy.  Other than that, we just don’t seem to put much time in thinking about what kinds of things will really make us happy.

Now, you have The Secret Language of Feelings, and you have a rational approach to understanding feelings and emotions.  Now, you can begin to understand that all your feelings are really there to motivate you to do things that will make you happy, and that is what this program is all about.

So, now, all you have to do is to sit back and listen to the program, and if you have The Secret Language of Feelings book, read on, there are tons of tips in there as well.  It is time to give some long overdue attention to the topic of happiness.

Need some more help or want to get into the discussion? If you want additional coaching join our group on Yahoo at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thesecretlanguageoffeelings or call our office at 800-965-3390 or 714-258-8380.  We can also provide you with information about how to become receive training and become a hypnosis professional or 7th Path Teacher.

The Wisdom of Feeling Fearful – Episode 12

Doing 1-2-3 For FearFear is good when it comes from accurate perceptions.  If you don’t understand this fact you leave yourself open to dangerous situations, and you are very likely to get stuck in that feel bad – distract cycle.

People don’t understand that all feelings are good, so the hurt themselves through distraction.

  • Imagine how much better you will feel if you could quickly resolve your fears and spend a whole lot less time, almost to time feeling frustrated or depressed. How would that affect your life?

  • I promise you that you can feel better now. You can overcome bad habits and self-destructive behavior.

  • This is what has changed. Now, we have The Secret Language of Feelings, a rational approach to emotions that gives you a system that will enable you to feel better quickly.

In this audio program, you lean about how to put an end to feeling fearful unnecessarily, and how to respond to it in a satisfying way. This way, you won’t eat too much, drink too much, smoke too much, and so on.

Fear has so many names, including feeling nervous, worried, stressed, and anxious. ear, by whatever name, is there to motivate you to keep yourself, the people you care about and the things that you care about safe.  This is all a good thing.

Wouldn’t you like to feel fearful less?  This is how you can accomplish that. Do 1-2-3 and then you respond to emotions in a satisfying way.

Sometimes this won’t work, because you are experiencing Emotional Resonance. You do your Reality Check and you still feel afraid, this means that you are feeling fearful because something in the present is causing an old feeling from the past to come up.

In this session I talk about a case history where one of my clients was able to overcome her shyness (another word for fear) using The Secret Language of Feelings, 5-PATH® Hypnosis and 7th Path Self-Hypnosis® together. As a result her confidence increased dramatically and she was very grateful for the changes that she experienced in her life.

If you find that you are suffering from the feel bad – distract cycle, keep listening to the program and you will learn how to take back control and start feeling better. You might also like to get the book, The Secret Language of Feelings, and if you want to work with a trained professional give our office a call at 714-258-8380.  And, as always, you can join in on the conversation by joining our special group on the topic at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thesecretlanguageoffeelings.

The Dialogue Has Begun: Our First Question and Answer Episode – Episode 11

Reader Questions and AnswersIn this episode, “the dialogue has begun,” so to speak, in that I respond to some listener feedback. Plus, I talk about the discussion on our Secret Language Of Feelings group on Yahoo.

Then I go a bit farther and share with you some interactions I have had with some other groups on the Internet. It has become very apparent that there is a need out there for people to begin to understand the difference between anger and frustration.  I’m doing my best to teach them that:

  • Anger comes from the perception that things are unfair.

  • Frustration comes from the perception that what you are doing is not working.

  • Anger is a primary feeling and frustration is a secondary feeling.

Then I wrap it up with a bit of a discussion about how we can help our children to understand and use the Secret Language of Feelings. This turned out to be a bit of detailed discussion, so you might want to give it a listen two or three times.

What do you think about the difference between anger and frustration? Why do you think people get these two emotions confused? Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Emotional Resonance is the Key to Understanding Over Reaction – Episode 10

Emotional Resonance is the Key to Understanding Over ReactionHave you ever overreacted, or have you ever seen someone else overreact? I’m sure that you are very familiar with what I am talking about (unless you live on top of a mountain and grew up in a monastery or something).

Yes, indeed, sometimes people overreact and get too mad or too sad or find themselves being too fearful for a given circumstance. When this happens, these people act in some very immature ways. Today you will learn why that happens. Today you learn about Emotional Resonance!

Stop coping with your feelings! Give up on anger management right now! It really is the wrong way to deal with your emotions. Doing 1 – 2 – 3 does much more.

Understand the principle of Emotional Resonance, and you no longer have to control or manage your feelings. There is hope! You can become one of those individuals who is really “cool, calm, and collected.”

The Wisdom of Using 7th Path Self-Hypnosis – Episode 9

The Wisdom of Using 7th Path Self-HypnosisAs you have been following along with the program, I have mentioned 7th Path Self-Hypnosis®. I think that one of the most frequently asked questions that I have been asked since I started this series is, “What is 7th Path Self-Hypnosis?”

My background is in psychology, spirituality and hypnosis. As I conducted thousands of hypnosis sessions, and supervised hypnotherapists who have conducted thousands more around the world, I was inspired to produce three different systems:

  1. 5-PATH®

  2. The Secret Language of Feelings

  3. 7th Path Self-Hypnosis®

Of these three, I am most proud of 7th Path Self-Hypnosis®. It is a very powerful way for you to make changes quickly and effectively, while working in the privacy of your own mind. It works even when everything else that you have tried has failed, if you learn how to use the process correctly. Most people will see a positive change by practicing this new method of self-hypnosis during the first few basic 5 minute practice sessions. In 4 to 6 weeks, they experience a profound positive change in their lives.

Who benefits from 7th Path™? For example, those who have done 1 – 2 – 3 may have found that sometimes when they do the “reality check” to assess if their feelings are based in reality or not, they say to themselves, “I know that I have no real reason for feeling this angry in the situation or this fearful, but I still do.” This means that there is a belief or emotion that has kind of “gotten stuck” inside of them some time in their past. 7th Path Self-Hypnosis® was designed to get rid of that kind of problem and any other kind of limiting belief or problematic emotional issue. 7th Path Self-Hypnosis® simply works on whatever is causing you to not be successful.

7th Path™ also teaches you how to program yourself for success in life. It is an incredibly simple process than you can start using right away. To learn more about the program or to order the distance learning course go to, www.The7thPath.com.

The Wisdom of Using Distractors as “Plan B” – Episode 8

Distractors Can Be GoodThe title of this program is, The Wisdom of Using Distractors as Plan B. In this program I discuss when using distractors would be a good thing to do. Distractors can be an important part of our plan to be happier and more successful.

Listen in, and you will hear all about how to use distractors as Plan B, so that you can delay gratification when you need to.

Remember distractors can be used in a productive way when:

  1. It is not in your best interest, at a particular time, to attempt to satisfying your feelings

  2. You recognize that you are only distracting and not really taking care of the problem.

  3. You recognize that the distractor works best when it is not illegal, immoral or fattening!

Tips on using distractors:

  1. Plan your distractors in advance.

  2. Keep that list with you.

  3. Have distractors for different periods of time, i.e., 5, or 10 minutes, or a half hour to an hour long. So you are ready for different situations.

  4. Just about anything that you think is fun, interesting, or is a growth experience would be a good thing to put on the list (within reason of course).

So, now you will have Plan A and Plan B. Plan A, consists of satisfying your feelings. Plan B, consists of delaying satisfaction through indulging in a distractor (a healthy one of course).

The Wisdom of Guilt – Episode 7

Doing 1-2-3 for AngerAnger has a twin sister and her name is Guilt.  In this program I explain what anger and guilt have in common. There is more than you might think.

It is time to stop coping with your feelings!  Sometimes you are supposed to feel bad.  Even guilt is good once you begin to understand The Secret Language of Feelings.  That emotion, like all of your other painful emotions, is trying to talk to you.  There is a wisdom in this language.  Learn it, and you will spend a lot less time feeling bad and you will begin to live a life that is a great deal less emotionally painful and much more satisfying at the same time.

Learn how to respond to guilt in a satisfying way and everyone benefits.  You benefit, society benefits, and everyone who cares about you benefits. 

Enjoy the program.  Tell your friends.  This information can change a life.  Let’s get this information out those who can use it the most.  Together we can help our friends, loved ones, clients and patients feel much better and begin to lead happier and healthier lives.

The Wisdom of Anger and Finding Happiness with 1-2-3 – Episode 6

1 - 2 - 3 with AngerAnger is good.  It is what you do with it that is either, good, bad, or ineffective.

In this audio program, I will talk about how to end the, feel bad – distract cycle and take back control of your life.  Not only that, I will talk about going far beyond coping with anger.  I will tell you why anger is good.  Did you know if there were no anger there would be no USA!  I explain that statement in the program.  There is wisdom in feeling anger once you know The Secret Language of Feelings.

It is time to stop feeling bad about feeling bad, especially when it comes to anger.  Anger does two important things. It is there to let you know that you have perceived a situation as being unfair, and to motivate you to do your best to make things fair.

I also discuss what you should do when things are unfair, but there is little or nothing that you can do.  Here is a hint, it has to do with the OTHER F-word! 

I hope you like this program.  If you find that you are suffering from the feel bad – distract cycle, keep listening to the program and you will learn how to take back control and start feeling better. You might also like to get the book, The Secret Language of Feelings, and if you want to work with a trained professional give our office a call at 714-258-8380.  And, as always, you can join in on the conversation by joining our special group on the topic at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thesecretlanguageoffeelings.

Learn how to become a hypnotherapist or 7th Path Self-Hypnosis Teacher by going to www.HypnosisCenter.com.

All Feelings Are Good, Even Anger, Sadness, Loneliness, Etc., & Feeling Better with 1-2-3 – Episode 5

Satisfy Your Feelings with 1, 2, 3All feelings are good, even painful feelings like anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, frustration and depression.  Now, it is time to learn how to respond to these feelings in a way that satisfies the cause of the feeling, leaving us feeling satisfied.  Understanding this leads us into a life of feeling much happier and satisfied.

Too many people just don’t know how to be happy.  As you listen to this program you are going to find the key to happiness and how to stop all of those harmful habits such as eating too much, drinking too much, and so on without ever feeling deprived.

Learn 1-2-3 and you take back control of your life.  As you learn from this program and from the graphic on the left, this is a simple three-step process.

First, you need to name the feeling.  This is especially useful when you want to stop doing some kind of harmful behavior such as eating too much.  If you want to stop doing that, the next time you want to eat something you simply need to check to see if you are really physically hungry.  If you are not, then you are having a feeling, an emotion.  Name that feeling, and you will realize that there is nothing you can eat to make that feeling go away.  For example, if you are lonely, then eating a bag of potato chips is not going to bring someone new into your life.

Secondly, you need to identify why you are feeling that way.  Each feeling has a known cause.  Each cause-feeling relations ship that you need to know is covered in The Secret Language of Feelings book.

Thirdly, rather than distracting yourself from your feelings, you need to learn to respond in a satisfying way.  This is a behavior that will go to the cause of the problem.  For example, if you are lonely, calling a friend is a much better plan for removing the cause of your loneliness than eating a bag of potato chips!

I hope you will enjoy the program, and leave us a comment to let us know what you think of the program.

Why Do We Distract? Because We Are Not Exactly Sure What Feelings Are For – Episode 4

Emotions are like guages on a carWhat I am going over with you in this program is not something that I learned in graduate school.  It was learned by conducting thousands of hours of hypnosis with real clients, with real problems.  While doing that work, I had the opportunity to talk directly with the subconscious mind and learn what was causing the problem.  What I learned is that there was a painful emotion that was driving us to distraction and, as a result we eat too much, drink too much, shop too much, gamble too much, and so on.

One of the interesting things about that work is that some of my clients have been doctors, counselors, psychologists, and so on.  As I began to understand this secret language, I started explaining it to them.  After a while, I found it interesting to talk with them about what feelings are, and what they are really for.  I’d ask them and all my clients, “What are feelings for?”  Not surprisingly, most of them looked at me like I came from another planet!  It was like they didn’t even understand the question. 

I thought to myself, this lack of knowledge might make sense when you talk to the layperson, but what about those who were in the helping professions?  I’d have a doctor, psychologist, counselor, or social worker coming to see me in my office and I’d ask that same question, “What are feelings for?” I’d get the same look!  Almost none of them seemed to know what I was talking about or, they would strain to come up with an answer on the spot.  In my mind this is not a satisfactory situation.

Don’t you think that these professionals should have a clear understanding of what feelings are for?  These are the same folks that will diagnose others as being mentally ill, or maladjusted, and label them with some kind of disorder because they are feeling too sad, or too mad, or anxious or depressed!  Don’t you think that these professional s should have a clear understanding of what your feelings are for before they prescribe a medication to flatten out your emotions?  I do.

In this episode, I will break it down for everyone.  You will know exactly what feelings are for.  Then in the next episode, I will talk to you about how you can use this information by doing “1-2-3,” and as a result, start leading a much more satisfying, healthy, and happy life.  Keep checking back, and I’ll tell you all about it.

“Go to www.HypnosisCenter.com if you would like to find a professional who is trained and certified in The Secret Language of Feelings, and the advanced hypnosis systems that can help you to rapidly change your life.  You will also find information on that site about how to become a hypnosis professional who is trained in these advanced techniques."

Why People Do Such Crazy Stuff (Completed) ? Normal Healthy Depression is a Time to Rest, and Get Ready to Try Again – Episode 3

Downward spiral of depression.In this program, I start to get into the story about why people do such crazy stuff, like eating too much when they want to lose weight, or drinking alcohol when they want to be sober, or working too much when they want to have a better home life and so on.

What you learn is that people have feelings that are painful, such as anger, sadness, loneliness, and such.  But since we have been made to feel bad about feeling bad, then we have learned to deny, ignore, and repress our feelings.  We learned somewhere along the way that we can do this by simply taking our mind off of the bad feeling and what is causing us to feel that way by placing our minds on something else.  As a result, when we feel bad, the over eaters eat, the drinkers drink, the smokers smoke, and the sex-aholics (well, you get the idea).

Take a look at the graphic on the left.  It shows how we can feel bad and then distract.  Then when the distraction is over, we feel bad once again.

This process is reinforced because we feel better when we distract, and the habit develops.  But it makes things worse.  Since we don’t do anything about what is causing the feeling, the feeling persists and leads to frustration.  We will talk more about this in the next program. 

When you learn how your feelings really work, you get back a sense of control in your life, and really begin to use a very special kind of innate wisdom that you have been ignoring.  Those feelings are there to help and guide you to a happier and more successful life.

Read Text Version

Why People Do Such Crazy Stuff (Continued) ? Frustration Can Drive You to Distraction (Too Much Food, Alcohol, and Sex!) – Episode 2

Feel Bad, Distract - Frustrated, DistractLearn the lessons in this program and you will spend a lot less time feeling frustrated!  Frustration is a kind of stress that is unhealthy when you let it go on too long because you don’t know what that feeling is “telling you to do.”

In this program, you will find how and why frustration develops, and how you can begin to respond to it in a much more satisfying way.  Really, all feelings are good when you understand the message in each one.  However, if you don’t understand The Secret Language of Feelings, this emotion can work against you resulting in feeling ever more motivated to do those crazy things that people do, like eating too much, drinking too much, and so on. 

The graphic on the left shows how the feel bad and then distract cycle can lead to frustration.

You will also be introduced to a strange new concept, “normal healthy depression.”  Yes, depression can be a healthy feeling when you know what the message is.  That controversial idea is introduced in this program.

Read Text Version

Why People Do Such Crazy Stuff ? They Feel Bad and then Distract (Eat Too Much, Drink Too Much, Sex Too Much, Etc.) – Episode 1

Feel bad and distract cycleIn this program, I start to get into the story about why people do such crazy stuff, like eating too much when they want to lose weight, or drinking alcohol when they want to be sober, or working too much when they want to have a better home life and so on.

What you learn is that people have feelings that are painful, such as anger, sadness, loneliness, and such.  But since we have been made to feel bad about feeling bad, then we have learned to deny, ignore, and repress our feelings.  We learned somewhere along the way that we can do this by simply taking our mind off of the bad feeling and what is causing us to feel that way by placing our minds on something else.  As a result, when we feel bad, the over eaters eat, the drinkers drink, the smokers smoke, and the sex-aholics (well, you get the idea).

Take a look at the graphic on the left.  It shows how we can feel bad and then distract.  Then when the distraction is over, we feel bad once again.

This process is reinforced because we feel better when we distract, and the habit develops.  But it makes things worse.  Since we don’t do anything about what is causing the feeling, the feeling persists and leads to frustration.  We will talk more about this in the next program. 

When you learn how your feelings really work, you get back a sense of control in your life, and really begin to use a very special kind of innate wisdom that you have been ignoring.  Those feelings are there to help and guide you to a happier and more successful life.

Read Text Version

Introduction to The Secret Language of Feelings Program – Episode 0

The Secret Language Of FeelingsWelcome to this very brief introductory episode to The Secret Language of Feelings Program.  It is just a couple of minutes long, but it lets you know what is coming up.  You are going to learn why people do such crazy things, such as eating too much when you want to lose weight, drinking when you want to be sober, and so on.  You are going to learn that all feelings are good.  They are there to help and guide you, and when you learn The Secret Language of Feelings you spend a lot less time feeling bad and a lot more time being happy and leading a more satisfying life. 

Also, since this secret language is a kind of wisdom, you will better understand what you want in life, as well as what others really want.  In a way, you will actually have an unfair advantage over others who don’t understand what their feelings are telling them to do.  As a matter of fact, it will make you into a better person, a better parent, coach, spouse or manager.  You will be a better communicator, as well.

So, keep checking back, it is time to learn the truth about emotions. As the programs are published, we will get into how to start using these feelings to create a much happier and successful life, and take control of what you are doing.  Many will find that they can stop eating too much, drinking too much, shopping too much, and so on, and never feel deprived, rather they will be more satisfied with the lives they are living than ever before!

Read Text Version


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